<![CDATA[collectik-Girrelephants's playlist]]>

en-us <![CDATA[collectik-Girrelephants's playlist]]> Sat, 11 Oct 2008 07:56:11 -0400 The Onion Radio News: Special Report: The Great Onion Schism Of 1783 http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/412444492/87796 Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:32:19 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87796 1405141 The Onion Radio News: Special Report: Top Entertainers Of 1783 http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/413437108/87797 Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:32:19 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87797 1407651 The Onion Radio News: Special Report: The Fabrics Of 1783 http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/414452260/87798 Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:32:19 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87798 1409128 The Onion Radio News: Unknown Gunman In Hardee's Parking Lot On Verge Of International Fame http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/411662321/87802 Sun, 05 Oct 2008 18:20:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87802 1404003 The Onion Radio News: Community Leaders Outraged Over Porn Video http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/411662319/87470 Sun, 05 Oct 2008 18:20:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87470 1404004 The Onion Radio News: Hard Times Hit Springsteenville http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/410859277/87469 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 10:04:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87469 1403085 The Onion Radio News: Richard Branson Purchases Remainder Of North Pole http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/408947353/86900 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 10:04:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86900 1399288 The Onion Radio News: Bush Goes Blonde For Remainder Of Presidency http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/409953558/87468 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 10:04:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87468 1401401 The Onion Radio News: Police Ferret Curled Up On Evidence http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/406276862/86903 Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:48:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86903 1394535 The Onion Radio News: Everything Midas CEO Touches Turns To Mufflers http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/406949902/87465 Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:48:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87465 1396231 The Onion Radio News: Lobbyist Gets Candy On Food Pyramid http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/407933081/87466 Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:48:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87466 1397083 The Onion Radio News: Nation In Love With Girl From Record Store http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/404424662/86901 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 01:40:55 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86901 1391403 The Onion Radio News: Vast Array Of Lip Balm Options Paralyzes Area Shopper http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/405202121/86902 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 01:40:55 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86902 1392384 The Onion Radio News: Bakery Held Hostage By Child Picking Out Donuts http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/401477968/86898 Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:28:16 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86898 1387738 The Onion Radio News: Janis Joplin's Spirit Found Dead Of Another Drug Overdose http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/402482196/86899 Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:28:16 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86899 1387739 The Onion Radio News: McCain Puts Father-Son Junkyard Business Into Blind Trust http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/403478677/87124 Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:28:16 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/87124 1389472 The Onion Radio News: City Places Orange Traffic Cones Around Space-Time Portal http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/400470177/86897 Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:04:16 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86897 1383622 The Onion Radio News: Wealthy Housewife Learns Spanish For Some Reason http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/398682192/86513 Sun, 21 Sep 2008 08:32:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86513 1380434 The Onion Radio News: Chimp Study On Human Response To Feces-Hurling Nears Completion http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/398682189/86512 Sun, 21 Sep 2008 08:32:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86512 1380435 The Onion Radio News: Laid-Off Zoologist Goes On Tranquilizing Rampage http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/397873822/86511 Sat, 20 Sep 2008 08:12:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86511 1379161 The Onion Radio News: Alpha Yam Resists Being Candied http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/396914807/86510 Fri, 19 Sep 2008 16:04:29 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86510 1378110 The Onion Radio News: Area Man Regrets Going Into Snifter Business http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/395912304/86509 Thu, 18 Sep 2008 07:52:25 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86509 1375158 The Onion Radio News: Tennessee Nears Expiration Date http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/394895518/86508 Wed, 17 Sep 2008 07:32:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86508 1373457 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Amateur Balloonist Accidently Floats Around World http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/393899293/86507 Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:20:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86507 1372156 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Bakery Closing Nets Man Ton Of Free Eclairs http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/391316339/86129 Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:04:49 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86129 1369674 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Minister Constantly Mentions Teenage Son's Virginity http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/392080998/86130 Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:04:49 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86130 1369675 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: New Wolverines Mascot Savagely Mauls Star Player http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/392915164/86133 Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:04:49 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86133 1369676 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: President Bush Only Has To Spend 20 Trillion To Inherit Bush Family Fortune http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/388350886/86124 Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:56:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86124 1364124 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Area Man's Longest Finger Selected For Mission To Bottom Of Peanut Jar http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/389354513/86125 Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:56:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86125 1364125 The Onion Radio News: Plastic Surgeon Shows Off Collection Of Famous Nose Cartilage http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/390364503/86126 Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:56:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86126 1365707 The Onion Radio News: Scarlett Johansson Plunges Sexily To Her Death http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/387371251/86123 Tue, 09 Sep 2008 22:48:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/86123 1359839 The Onion Radio News: Homicidal Surgeon General May Be Hazardous To Your Health http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/384795287/85754 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:40:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85754 1355009 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Astronomer Discovers Black Hole At Center Of Own Marriage http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/385568740/85755 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:40:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85755 1355984 The Onion Radio News: Accident Reconstructionist A Hit At Family Reunion http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/386383671/85756 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:40:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85756 1358036 The Onion Radio News: New 'Gatorade Slow' Targets Lazy Demographic http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/383900400/85753 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 22:28:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85753 1353133 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Gold Medalist Michael Phelps Signs Up To Endorse Pool Noodles http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/382974042/85752 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:12:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85752 1351581 The Onion Radio News: New Denim Jacket Bolsters Consumer Self-Confidence http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/382030878/85751 Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:56:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85751 1350317 The Onion Radio News: Elderly Man Wages War On Area Pharmacy http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/379426100/85325 Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:48:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85325 1344920 The Onion Radio News: McDonald's To Post Warning Labels On Individual Fries http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/380199251/85326 Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:48:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85326 1347763 The Onion Radio News: Brendan's Brother Reports 'Brendan Is So Dead' http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/381088893/85684 Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:48:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85684 1347764 The Onion Radio News: God's Gift To Women Returned http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/378693406/85324 Sat, 30 Aug 2008 21:40:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85324 1343378 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: New Flavored Fork Adds Taste Of Ham To Every Meal http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/375884200/85321 Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:28:18 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85321 1337427 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Challenging New Iraq War Video Game Will Take 14 Years To Play http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/376833134/85322 Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:28:18 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85322 1339687 The Onion Radio News: Area Man Always Picked Last For Employment http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/377792481/85323 Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:28:18 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85323 1342326 The Onion Radio News: McCain Unveils Plan For National Soup Pipeline http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/373994893/85146 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:20:27 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85146 1334823 The Onion Radio News: Hundreds Of Musicians Removed From Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame For Drug Use http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/375278482/85306 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:20:27 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85306 1336493 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: North Korean Olympic Team Forced To Share Single, Grey Jumpsuit http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/371593713/85084 Sun, 24 Aug 2008 05:12:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/85084 1331249 The Onion Radio News: Absent-Minded Professor Says Cure For Cancer 'Around Here Somewhere' http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/372480415/84770 Sun, 24 Aug 2008 05:12:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84770 1333409 The Onion Radio News: Dutch Anti-Defamation League Closes http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/373225264/84771 Sun, 24 Aug 2008 05:12:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84771 1333507 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Executive's Child Makes Unsolicited Bid For Affection http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/370640434/84768 Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:04:38 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84768 1328997 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: China Bans Release Of Carbon Dioxide By Citizens http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/369684033/84767 Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:48:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84767 1326819 The Onion Radio News: Punch On Nose Fails To Ward Off Loan Shark Attack http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/367816901/84311 Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:48:07 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84311 1323578 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Psychological Evaluation Eaten http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/368742640/84766 Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:48:07 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84766 1325588 The Onion Radio News: 1992 Belly Tattoo Stretched To Breaking Point http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/365409501/84307 Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:28:17 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84307 1321440 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Study: Watching Under Four Hours Of TV Impairs Ability To Mock Pop Culture http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/366273994/84308 Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:28:17 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84308 1321441 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Sharper Image Vows 'We Will Be Undersold' http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/367035709/84310 Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:28:17 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84310 1322112 The Onion Radio News: Portuguese Explorer Discovers New Passage To China http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/363600844/84305 Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:20:24 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84305 1316001 The Onion Radio News: Republican Enjoys Paying Huge Health Insurance Premiums http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/364520635/84306 Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:20:24 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84306 1317913 The Onion Radio News: Stalker Spaces On Why He's In Sandra Oh's Garage http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/362628492/84304 Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:20:23 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/84304 1314289 The Onion Radio News: FBI: Six Dead Not Really 'Mass' Murder http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/360849128/83982 Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:28:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83982 1311824 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Voice Actor Gets First Nude Scene http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/361644909/83983 Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:28:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83983 1313083 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: New Eco-Friendly Hummer Engineered To Kill Its Drivers http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/358327746/83979 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 07:20:24 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83979 1308977 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Burned Entree Passed Off As Cajun http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/359354327/83980 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 07:20:24 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83980 1309758 The Onion Radio News: Man Hoping To Accidentally See Roommate's Girlfriend Naked http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/360075041/83981 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 07:20:24 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83981 1310495 The Onion Radio News: Wind Reserves To Run Out By 2036 http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/357082976/83978 Wed, 06 Aug 2008 15:12:13 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83978 1305568 The Onion Radio News: President Bush Disappointed Chinese Foreign Minister Doesn't Know Karate http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/354138396/83463 Tue, 05 Aug 2008 06:56:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83463 1301545 The Onion Radio News: Last Vestige Of Manhood Gently Exhaled During Yoga Class http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/355008384/83464 Tue, 05 Aug 2008 06:56:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83464 1302806 The Onion Radio News: Small Fluffy Dog To Head House Of Versace http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/356021497/83977 Tue, 05 Aug 2008 06:56:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83977 1304039 The Onion Radio News: Area Man Never Met Cardboard Box He Couldn't Flatten http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/351216732/83460 Sat, 02 Aug 2008 14:52:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83460 1297369 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Hawaiian Family Enjoys Great Vacation In Dayton, OH http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/352300911/83461 Sat, 02 Aug 2008 14:52:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83461 1299738 The Onion Radio News: Rules Grammar Change http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/353318558/83462 Sat, 02 Aug 2008 14:52:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83462 1300684 The Onion Radio News: Mysterious Zipper Spotted On Back Of McCain's Neck http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/350176135/83459 Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:40:20 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83459 1295293 The Onion Radio News: PowerBar Introduces New WaterBar For Thirsty People On The Go http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/349135217/83458 Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:40:19 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83458 1294494 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: 134-Year-Old Man Attributes Longevity To Typographical Error http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/346350999/83164 Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:33:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83164 1289595 The Onion Radio News: Procter Gamble Introduces Home Menstruation Test http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/347189118/83165 Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:33:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83165 1290776 The Onion Radio News: Depressed Tornado Hangs Out Alone In Corner Of State http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/348076273/83166 Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:33:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83166 1291551 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Angry FCC Fudging Tired Of All This Sugar http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/343234794/83161 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:20:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83161 1284332 The Onion Radio News: Hewlett-Packard Introduces New Soup-Resistant Laptop http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/344276183/83162 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:20:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83162 1287904 The Onion Radio News: U.S. Trades Alito To British Supreme Court In Six-Judge Deal http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/345344238/83163 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:20:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83163 1287905 The Onion Radio News: Apology To Area Dog Insincere http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/341232337/82757 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:04:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82757 1280618 The Onion Radio News: Blackwater Security Hired To Protect U.S. Climate http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/342242083/83160 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:04:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/83160 1282090 The Onion Radio News: Gettysburg Battlefield Solemnly Urinated On http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/338701780/82751 Sun, 20 Jul 2008 05:56:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82751 1278878 The Onion Radio News: Earth Explodes http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/339632401/82753 Sun, 20 Jul 2008 05:56:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82753 1278879 The Onion Radio News: Time Warner CEO Announces Plans To Merge With Secretary http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/340414519/82755 Sun, 20 Jul 2008 05:56:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82755 1279518 The Onion Radio News: Car-Wash Employee Tragically Simonized http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/335769981/82748 Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:48:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82748 1272460 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Nunchuck Mastery Displayed To Enemy http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/336772752/82749 Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:48:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82749 1273323 The Onion Radio News: Ronald Reagan Prime Suspect In Bank Robbery http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/337749895/82750 Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:48:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82750 1274753 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Giant Undersea Cephalopods Targeted By Pepsi http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/334035573/82408 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:40:30 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82408 1268574 The Onion Radio News: Entire City Council Meeting Devoted To Tree Stump http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/334805399/82409 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:40:30 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82409 1270117 The Onion Radio News: Stripper From Future Jumps Out Of Birthday Cake To Warn Humanity http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/331425517/82404 Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:32:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82404 1267115 The Onion Radio News: Congress Raises 'Licking Syrup Off Your Plate' Age Limit To 13 http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/332382734/82406 Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:32:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82406 1267116 The Onion Radio News: New Boeing Jetliner Holds All But 300 People http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/333292801/82407 Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:32:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82407 1267267 The Onion Radio News: Fancy Home Defibrillator Used Only Once http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/328598689/82375 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:20:13 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82375 1259232 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Area Sauce Perfect http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/329530893/82402 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:20:13 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82402 1261340 The Onion Radio News: Supreme Court Holds Judicial Luau http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/330490134/82403 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:20:13 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82403 1262236 The Onion Radio News: Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/327808866/81944 Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:12:18 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81944 1258139 The Onion Radio News: Endangered Manatee Struggles To Make Self Understood To Congress http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/327128878/81943 Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:12:17 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81943 1256913 The Onion Radio News: Solar-Power Technology Still Largely Confined To Calculators http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/324568555/81940 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:04:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81940 1252906 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Kentucky Legislature Bans Gay Pet Weddings http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/326126506/41229 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:04:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41229 1255325 The Onion Radio News: Letter D Pulls Sponsorship From Sesame Street http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/326126504/45146 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:04:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45146 1255326 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: New Alternative Fuel SUV Will Deplete World's Hydrogen By 2070 http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/325450056/81941 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:04:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81941 1255327 The Onion Radio News: Arizona Burned To Stop California Wildfire http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/326344075/81942 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:04:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81942 1255771 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: 8-Year-Old Forced To Eat Organic Macaroni And Cheese http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/322957815/81939 Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:48:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81939 1249115 The Onion Radio News: Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/321025867/81704 Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:28:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81704 1245303 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Catholic Church Condemns Metrosexuality http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/321786076/81705 Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:28:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81705 1246873 The Onion Radio News: McCain Vows To Withdraw All Troops From The U.S. http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/321786072/82006 Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:28:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/82006 1246874 The Onion Radio News: Flaming-Streets Plan Passes In Tennessee http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/316823695/81338 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:04:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81338 1236391 The Onion Radio News: Girlfriend Dumped After Forwarding Stupid Link http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/317378980/81339 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:04:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81339 1237366 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Area Man Experimenting With Homosexuality For Past Eight Years http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/317798989/81703 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:04:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81703 1238534 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Area Lottery Winner Pulls Off 'Get Poor Quick' Scheme http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/318016973/81340 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:04:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81340 1238535 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Non-Controversial Church Opens For Potential Presidential Candidates http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/316124378/81337 Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:48:14 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81337 1234983 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Borrowed Stapler Returned With Bite Marks On It http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/313698678/81333 Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:40:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81333 1229176 The Onion Radio News: Drowning Super Model Rescued To Death http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/314515370/81335 Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:40:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81335 1230899 The Onion Radio News: Drunk Physicists Write Equations All Over Passed-Out Colleague's Face http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/315168664/81336 Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:40:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81336 1232864 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: U.S. Dentists Can't Make Nation's Teeth Any Damn Whiter http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/311852372/80966 Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:28:12 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80966 1225648 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Clerk Endures Fifth Humiliating Year http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/312207557/80967 Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:28:12 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80967 1226185 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: New Beer Brand Claims To Be Colder Than Other Beer Brands http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/312927788/80968 Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:28:12 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80968 1227803 The Onion Radio News: Paris Hilton Foundation Grants 2 Million Dollars To Under-Privileged Socialite http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/310308906/80964 Sat, 14 Jun 2008 03:20:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80964 1223453 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Local Thumb Wrestler Falls For Only Trick In The Book http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/311059830/80965 Sat, 14 Jun 2008 03:20:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80965 1224702 The Onion Radio News: Man Raised By Wolves Loses Wife, Kids During Family Reunion http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/308732587/80962 Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:04:15 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80962 1218375 The Onion Radio News: Rising Gravy Breaks Through Potato Dam http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/309527603/80963 Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:04:15 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80963 1220079 The Onion Radio News: West Virginia Holds Its First Pronunciation Bee http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/307784389/80611 Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:32:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80611 1216561 The Onion Radio News: New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra-Delicious http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/306637758/80609 Sun, 08 Jun 2008 10:20:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80609 1215893 The Onion Radio News: Small Town Honors Once-Ostracized Artist http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/307177166/80610 Sun, 08 Jun 2008 10:20:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80610 1215894 The Onion Radio News: Puppet Show Suddenly Turns To Subject Of Divorce http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/305826926/80608 Fri, 06 Jun 2008 10:04:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80608 1213391 The Onion Radio News: Elderly Woman Destroys Internet http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/304279713/80606 Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:48:30 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80606 1211057 The Onion Radio News: Defective Ouija Board Reviews Local Thai Restaurants http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/305079353/80607 Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:48:30 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80607 1211103 The Onion Radio News: SWAT Team Leader Uses Wrong Hand Signal Again http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/303462284/80605 Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:48:29 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80605 1208766 The Onion Radio News: Man Born To Party Dies Partying http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/301680093/80306 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:40:37 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80306 1203980 The Onion Radio News: Area Father Fails To Forcibly Refold Map http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/302199232/80307 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:40:37 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80307 1205193 The Onion Radio News: Choir Deployed To Local Senior Center http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/302743266/80308 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:40:37 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80308 1206431 The Onion Radio News: Giraffe Wants To Be Appreciated For More Than Just Her Humongous Neck http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/301019167/80305 Fri, 30 May 2008 17:32:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80305 1202360 The Onion Radio News: Area Man Forced Into Jehovah's Witness Protection Program http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/298853939/80228 Thu, 29 May 2008 09:20:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80228 1197457 The Onion Radio News: President Bush Converts West Wing Into Injured Animal Shelter http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/299589930/80303 Thu, 29 May 2008 09:20:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80303 1199632 The Onion Radio News: Muse Commands Area Man To Draw Naked Barbarian Girls http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/300323376/80304 Thu, 29 May 2008 09:20:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80304 1201179 The Onion Radio News: Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted By Budget Cuts http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/297040698/79838 Mon, 26 May 2008 17:12:27 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79838 1193695 The Onion Radio News: LAPD Discovers Hidden Deformed Olsen Triplet http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/297574757/79839 Mon, 26 May 2008 17:12:27 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79839 1194744 The Onion Radio News: Couple Devastated To Learn They Can't Have Cats http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/298153944/79840 Mon, 26 May 2008 17:12:27 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79840 1196639 The Onion Radio News: Porn Star Breaks Into Mainstream Movie Career As 'Stripper Number Four' http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/296333025/79837 Sat, 24 May 2008 01:04:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79837 1192211 The Onion Radio News: NORAD Headquarters Crawling With Missile Weevils http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/294805119/79835 Thu, 22 May 2008 16:56:49 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79835 1189188 The Onion Radio News: Teenager's Entire Life Ruined By Frizzy Hair http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/295587333/79836 Thu, 22 May 2008 16:56:49 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79836 1191512 The Onion Radio News: Terrifying Phantom Train Late http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/294018657/79834 Thu, 22 May 2008 16:56:48 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79834 1187296 The Onion Radio News: Newly Disabled Paraplegic Wants To Know If He'll Be Able To...You Know http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/293249028/79330 Tue, 20 May 2008 00:48:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79330 1186174 The Onion Radio News: Homeless Man Bestows God's Blessing To All Within Earshot http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/292665736/79329 Tue, 20 May 2008 00:48:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79329 1184485 The Onion Radio News: Biologists Apologize For Release Of Giant Winged Serpents http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/290684204/79325 Sat, 17 May 2008 08:40:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79325 1179844 The Onion Radio News: Plate Of Cookies Never Stood A Chance http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/291427126/79326 Sat, 17 May 2008 08:40:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79326 1182105 The Onion Radio News: Study: Most Self-Abuse Goes Unreported http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/292106263/79328 Sat, 17 May 2008 08:40:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79328 1183158 The Onion Radio News: Obama Voicemail Message Not That Inspiring http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/289948538/79324 Wed, 14 May 2008 16:32:37 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79324 1177884 The Onion Radio News: Christian Slater Dropped From List Of Names To Drop http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/287880861/78818 Tue, 13 May 2008 08:29:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78818 1174212 The Onion Radio News: Rubik's Cube Solved With Hammer http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/288462878/78819 Tue, 13 May 2008 08:29:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78819 1174855 The Onion Radio News: Bear Searches For Food Inside Backpacker http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/289205281/79323 Tue, 13 May 2008 08:29:11 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/79323 1176661 The Onion Radio News: India's Top Physicists Develop Plan To Get The Hell Out Of India http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/287308989/78817 Sat, 10 May 2008 16:20:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78817 1172835 The Onion Radio News: Breakthrough Heinz Bottle Shoots Ketchup With Laser-Like Precision http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/285129174/78814 Fri, 09 May 2008 08:12:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78814 1168245 The Onion Radio News: Enterprising Dog Opens Own Kennel http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/285860183/78815 Fri, 09 May 2008 08:12:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78815 1169557 The Onion Radio News: Cheney Adds Rare '64 Kuwait To Oil Cellar http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/286590366/78816 Fri, 09 May 2008 08:12:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78816 1171283 The Onion Radio News: Pope Stays Up All Night Telling God About Trip To America http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/284412028/78813 Tue, 06 May 2008 16:04:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78813 1166584 The Onion Radio News: Urinator Apprehended http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/282556238/78414 Mon, 05 May 2008 07:56:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78414 1162115 The Onion Radio News: Longtime Sexual Fantasy Awkwardly Fulfilled http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/283115203/78415 Mon, 05 May 2008 07:56:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78415 1163355 The Onion Radio News: Four-Year Descent Into Complete Self-Obsession Live-Blogged http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/283703501/78416 Mon, 05 May 2008 07:56:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78416 1164683 The Onion Radio News: Workaholic Wakes Up In Pool Of Own Paperwork http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/281898994/78413 Fri, 02 May 2008 15:48:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78413 1160453 The Onion Radio News: Area Kindergartner Tackles The Shit Out Of Dream Girl http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/279859535/78410 Thu, 01 May 2008 07:40:15 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78410 1154997 The Onion Radio News: Rowdy Teens Take Over Local Perkins http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/280560196/78411 Thu, 01 May 2008 07:40:15 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78411 1156826 The Onion Radio News: President Bush Unveils New 'Impotence Only' Sex Policy http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/281269284/78412 Thu, 01 May 2008 07:40:15 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78412 1159186 The Onion Radio News: Researchers Discover Massive Asshole In Blogosphere http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/279159867/78337 Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:32:18 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78337 1153880 The Onion Radio News: Entire Coffee Cake Consumed Over Trash Can http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/277411429/78054 Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:28:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78054 1150378 The Onion Radio News: Nation's Last Themeless Restaurant Closes http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/278083034/78055 Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:28:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78055 1152448 The Onion Radio News: Boilermakers Protest Purdue's Mascot http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/278635579/78056 Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:28:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78056 1152449 The Onion Radio News: Congress Overrun By Wolves http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/275163181/78051 Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:12:13 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78051 1144928 The Onion Radio News: Amtrak's New Lady Train Debuts http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/275918904/78052 Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:12:13 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78052 1146826 The Onion Radio News: Convicted Forger Freed By Presidential Pardon http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/276662405/78053 Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:12:13 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/78053 1148318 The Onion Radio News: Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/273898639/77645 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:04:47 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77645 1141597 The Onion Radio News: Passover Seder Half-Assed http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/274473329/77646 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:04:47 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77646 1142873 The Onion Radio News: Vacationing Teen Introduces Wilco To West Indies http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/272657698/77643 Sat, 19 Apr 2008 06:52:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77643 1139959 The Onion Radio News: Plan 'L' Switched To http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/273347666/77644 Sat, 19 Apr 2008 06:52:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77644 1140621 The Onion Radio News: Giant Greenhouse Built Over Nation Blamed For Climate Change http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/271190446/77641 Thu, 17 Apr 2008 22:40:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77641 1135377 The Onion Radio News: Panicked Diver Forgets Everything Except Capital Of Delaware http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/271943847/77642 Thu, 17 Apr 2008 22:40:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77642 1138664 The Onion Radio News: Man From Last Week Smacked Into Present Day http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/269282593/77275 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:28:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77275 1131291 The Onion Radio News: Guys Night Out To Feature Several Key Non-Guys http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/269799097/77276 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:28:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77276 1132022 The Onion Radio News: If There's A Ferret Heaven, Area Woman's Dead Ferret Is In it http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/270483278/77636 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:28:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77636 1133566 The Onion Radio News: New Colored Light Added To Traffic Signals http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/268797495/77274 Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:20:06 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77274 1129872 The Onion Radio News: Cheney Re-Grows Limb In Front Of Shocked Advisers http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/266799254/77271 Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:12:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77271 1125395 The Onion Radio News: 46,000 Vacuumed Out Of White House Couch http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/267478433/77272 Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:12:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77272 1126050 The Onion Radio News: Gypsy Curse Lifted From Montana http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/268161784/77273 Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:12:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77273 1128273 The Onion Radio News: Hostage Taken Out For Night On The Town http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/266116984/77232 Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:56:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/77232 1122258 The Onion Radio News: Pope Condemns College Of Cardinals For Host-Flicking http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/265449011/76792 Mon, 07 Apr 2008 05:48:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76792 1120424 The Onion Radio News: Naked Man Mingles Freely In Locker Room http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/264903851/76791 Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:32:22 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76791 1119420 The Onion Radio News: Suicide Hotline Operator Talking To Ex-Boyfriend Again http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/264403259/76790 Sat, 05 Apr 2008 05:12:14 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76790 1118364 The Onion Radio News: FDA Approves Napalm Breast Implants http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/263770284/76789 Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:56:07 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76789 1116678 The Onion Radio News: New Personal MRIs Allow Paparazzi To Scan Celebrity Organs http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/263123718/76788 Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:52:25 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76788 1115552 The Onion Radio News: McDonald's Birthday Party To Be Happiest Time In Child's Life http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/261072105/76713 Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:48:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76713 1109559 The Onion Radio News: New U.S. Smiley-Face Dollar To Boost Economy http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/261740771/76786 Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:48:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76786 1110751 The Onion Radio News: Hillary Receives 3 a.m. Phone Call From Drunken Bill Clinton http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/262440868/76787 Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:48:04 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76787 1112950 The Onion Radio News: Move To Houseboat Regretted By Third Day http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/260570659/76429 Sun, 30 Mar 2008 12:40:05 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76429 1108002 The Onion Radio News: Microwavable Steak Renews Area Man's Faith In Humanity http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/258768134/76426 Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:32:53 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76426 1104154 The Onion Radio News: Tropical Storm Brings Deadly Cloud Of Worthless Knickknacks Up East Coast http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/259441043/76427 Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:32:53 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76427 1105134 The Onion Radio News: Area Man Busts His Ass All Day, And For What? http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/260063503/76428 Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:32:53 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76428 1106899 The Onion Radio News: Congress Calls For Removal Of Land Mines From Congress http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/258106827/76425 Wed, 26 Mar 2008 10:20:19 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76425 1101788 The Onion Radio News: Peeping Tom Sick And Tired Of Watching People Watch Television http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/256373722/76066 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:04:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76066 1097172 The Onion Radio News: Everything On Area Man's iPod Just There As A Joke http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/257046191/76297 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:04:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76297 1098850 The Onion Radio News: Federal Reserve Announces Emergency Release Of Butterflies http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/257459330/76424 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:04:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76424 1099857 The Onion Radio News: Mysteriocrats Nominate Shadowy Figure For President http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/254711161/76063 Sat, 22 Mar 2008 09:56:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76063 1093151 The Onion Radio News: Faith Healer Calls In Faith Gastroenterologist http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/255333165/76064 Sat, 22 Mar 2008 09:56:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76064 1095099 The Onion Radio News: Former American Gladiator Still Insists Friends Call Him Turbo http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/255909861/76065 Sat, 22 Mar 2008 09:56:08 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76065 1096270 The Onion Radio News: Last Mozzarella Stick Sacrificed In Herculean Display Of Good Manners http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/254073908/76062 Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:52:25 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76062 1090712 The Onion Radio News: Organic Hunter Relies On Chronic Wasting Disease To Kill Deer http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/252802498/75617 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 09:48:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75617 1087540 The Onion Radio News: President Bush Accidentally Signs Cast Into Law http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/253447868/76061 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 09:48:03 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76061 1089527 The Onion Radio News: New Wonder Drug Gets Users Higher Than Hell http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/252287312/75616 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 09:48:02 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75616 1086855 The Onion Radio News: Couple Upstairs Going At It Again http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/251806048/75615 Sat, 15 Mar 2008 17:32:18 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75615 1085814 The Onion Radio News: Area Man's Pleasing Aroma Will Be Missed http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/250566633/75613 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:28:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75613 1083032 The Onion Radio News: Imaginary Rock Band Causes Real Falling Out Among Friends http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/251194049/75614 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:28:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75614 1083854 The Onion Radio News: U.S. To Adopt Caste System http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/249937248/75612 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:28:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75612 1080408 The Onion Radio News: McCain Captures Wild Delegates Roaming Western Plains http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/249307542/75611 Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:20:20 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75611 1077925 The Onion Radio News: Heroin Addiction Picked Up Where Area Man Left Off http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/248682008/75164 Mon, 10 Mar 2008 09:12:10 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75164 1076577 The Onion Radio News: Christ Announces Hiring Of Associate Christ http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/248215612/75163 Sun, 09 Mar 2008 08:52:09 -0400 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75163 1075573 The Onion Radio News: Demography Today Magazine Targets Demographer Demographic http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/247776001/75162 Sat, 08 Mar 2008 08:40:17 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75162 1074630 The Onion Radio News: New Blog Gives Much Needed Look Into World Of Geoff http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/247209952/75161 Fri, 07 Mar 2008 08:28:13 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75161 1072953 The Onion Radio News: Pregnant Circus Geek Now Biting Heads Off Chicken For Two http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/246580582/75160 Thu, 06 Mar 2008 08:12:24 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75160 1071176 The Onion Radio News: Report 1998 Was Ten Fucking Years Ago http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/245955354/75159 Wed, 05 Mar 2008 07:56:07 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75159 1069206 The Onion Radio News: Evacuation Plan Includes Foosball Table http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/245317141/75158 Tue, 04 Mar 2008 07:40:22 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75158 1067396 The Onion Radio News: Stock Market Unsure How To React To Boron Shortage http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/244674956/74753 Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:28:02 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74753 1065716 The Onion Radio News: Stupid Thing Won't Work http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/244191006/74752 Sun, 02 Mar 2008 15:12:38 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74752 1064756 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Supreme Court Rewards Base With Fan Appreciation Day http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/242543706/74749 Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:04:19 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74749 1060100 The Onion Radio News: Presidential Candidate Thinks That's A Good Idea But We Should Go Farther http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/243154539/74750 Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:04:19 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74750 1061666 The Onion Radio News: Mexico Announces Plans To Refry Over 700 Million Beans http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/243737590/74751 Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:04:19 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74751 1063442 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Mechanical Pencils Turn On Their Human Overlords http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/241924676/74748 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 14:48:20 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74748 1057910 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Bridal Association Of America Blasts Nation's Groomsmen http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/241318781/74747 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 14:48:19 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74747 1057432 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: 60% Of Federal Budget Wasted On Eating Out http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/240717138/74368 Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:20:05 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74368 1054591 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Man With Hammer-Induced Thumb Injury Appeals To Christ Almighty http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/240244324/74367 Sun, 24 Feb 2008 05:52:04 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74367 1053403 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Scientists Isolate Pepsi-Resistant Gene http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/239807930/74366 Sat, 23 Feb 2008 05:32:32 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74366 1052263 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: CIA Finally Unseats Fidel Castro With Retirement Cigar http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/239244132/74733 Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:20:24 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74733 1051162 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: North Korea Takes Technical-Assistance Jobs From India By Force http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/238620308/74364 Thu, 21 Feb 2008 05:12:14 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74364 1048218 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Search Continues For Articulate Witness Of Tragedy http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/238012340/74363 Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:56:10 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74363 1046349 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Country Mouse Raped By City Mouse http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/237394366/74362 Tue, 19 Feb 2008 12:48:04 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/74362 1045164 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Exxon Paleontologists Call For Increased U.S. Fossil Production http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/235953791/73979 Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:40:05 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73979 1040976 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: ACLU Defends Nazi's Right To Burn Down ACLU's Headquarters http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/236371794/73980 Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:40:05 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73980 1042357 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Miss America Loses Crown In Double-Or-Nothing Pageant http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/236824515/73981 Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:40:05 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73981 1043041 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: New Pipeline Threatens Migrating Baby Boomers http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/235393523/73978 Fri, 15 Feb 2008 12:28:16 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73978 1038736 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Man Channels Love Of America Through Car Horn http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/233586076/73975 Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:20:10 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73975 1033234 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Dead iPod Returns To Life Every Year On Anniversary Of Death http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/234201223/73976 Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:20:10 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73976 1034840 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Bow Hunter Learns A Lot About Bears In Six Seconds http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/234807780/73977 Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:20:10 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73977 1036941 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: New Video Game Tied To Rash Of Head Explosions http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/232973225/73600 Mon, 11 Feb 2008 12:12:19 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73600 1031062 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: U.S. Department Of Over-Analysis Issues Rambling, Inconclusive Report http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/231420565/73596 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 04:04:03 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73596 1026690 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Fire Hot http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/232041240/73597 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 04:04:03 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73597 1028559 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Nation Demands Easier Instructions http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/232491803/73598 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 04:04:03 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73598 1029694 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Coworker Brings Vigilante Justice To Break Room http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/230111733/73595 Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:48:02 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73595 1022027 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: North Korean Spy Satellite Aimed At Area Man's Wide-Screen TV http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/230111731/73593 Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:48:02 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73593 1022028 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Duck Call Receives Overwhelming Response http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/229383841/73592 Tue, 05 Feb 2008 11:40:09 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73592 1020828 The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: The Onion Radio News: Depressed Cow Eats Entire Haystack http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/228739014/73239 Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:28:21 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73239 1018485 The Onion Radio News: Nation's Bachelors Demand Health-Care Coverage For All Their Buddies http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/226344507/73234 Sun, 03 Feb 2008 04:35:22 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73234 1012487 The Onion Radio News: Report: Netflix Has Received Red Dwarf Series Three: Disc Two http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/227049634/73235 Sun, 03 Feb 2008 04:35:22 -0500 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/73235 1014667 The Onion Radio News: Huge Animal Jumps Right Fucking Out In Front Of Area Man http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/radionews/~3/227694714/73236